sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
