I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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