my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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