You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
