Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
