so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
