last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize