stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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