susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
