I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
