For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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