Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
