I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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