i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize