Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
