you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
