Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
