Are we in a gay sports bar?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy