I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
