my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.