Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize