I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
