For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
