That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
