He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
