Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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