If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
