I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love having hate sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
