Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize