Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wear drunk well.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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