He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
