Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
