she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
