I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
