Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
