If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
home. puking in laundry basket.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize