I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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