Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
