'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Say something about gay babies.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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