the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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