Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
