So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
