Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
