Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found puke in my bra..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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