that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
