Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
