first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
