PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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