I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We are two peas in an std pod
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
