If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so let's talk penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
