I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
