i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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