Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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