Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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