it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
