well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize