You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
