so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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